Wednesday, June 15, 2011

One week down!

So I've completed my first week back on Weight Watchers and already lost 5 pounds! I haven't even been counting points yet - just eating better/less and working out more. They have a new way of calculating points and I haven't really taken the time to learn it yet. You used to be able to have a little handheld slider thing that automatically calculated the points. Now you either have to log on to the website or buy one of their fancy electronic calculators to do it and, of course, my meeting was sold out of the calculators. I need the convenience of being able to have it with me always instead of looking things up online all the time. I even had two minor set backs in working out this week. On Tuesday I don't know what we did in my physical therapy but after I got back to work my lower back was completely out of whack until Wednesday night. Then on Thursday night I twisted my already injured ankle while walking on some uneven pavement so didn't want to risk hurting it more.

Now, on the umm...romantic potential in my life. I'm *so* nervous about seeing him tomorrow! This is ridiculous! I've seen him once or twice a week for over 2 months. Of course, everything changed last week when I think he asked me out. Still don't know whether it's friendly or date-ly but it would still be a social interaction for us vs what we've been doing. Blech. I'm full on twitterpated. I know how I want to bring the subject back up and fix the mess I made by not instantly saying yes, but I'm worried I'll get all tongue tied and it'll come out wrong and make a fool of myself. But really, how hard is it to say "Oh that Decemberists show is on August 22nd, and I was thinking - who cares that it's on a Monday we should totally go". Seriously. It's not hard. But I still have this weird feeling of, like, why would a guy who's incredibly athletic and in shape be interested in a girl who is...not. On the one hand I can see that there might not have been an instant attraction but that after spending time together and getting to know each other something has grown. I mean, we do spend most of my sessions talking while I'm working out and we have the same taste in music and a lot in common and he is *so* easy to talk to, the conversation just flows. We've even talked about how it's kinda hard being 30 and single - and he specifically mentioned not having the house with the white picket fence and everything he thought he'd have by now. I also need to keep reminding myself that S was pretty athletic and was apparently more interested in me physically than emotionally. I need to have confidence in myself. I brought up the concert as more informational since he'd mentioned they're one of his favorite bands, but he asked me if I wanted to go. I think I just don't want to be all twitterpated and then be heartbroken before anything even starts. Wish me luck :)

Monday, June 6, 2011

Tomorrow is a new day

And it's a new start. Tomorrow I sign up for Weight Watchers all over again. Last time (which was about 2 years ago) I lost 25 pounds pretty quickly, but I hit my plateau right before Christmas. I took a "little break" for the holidays and never went back. Now here I am with those 25 pounds back and another 15 or so on top of that.

Today was my last hurrah and I probably shouldn't have gone as far as I did because quite frankly I feel a little sick. Not to say that I went on a binge or anything, just ate some things that are "bad" for me and I won't be able to have anymore.

I'm allowed to start some small amounts of cardio - I can start by doing 10 minutes a day on the elliptical machine. If I can do that for a week without my foot and leg hurting then I can up it to 15 minutes a day for a week and so on and so on adding 5 minutes each week. I also have about 30 minutes of stretching and strengthening exercises that I need to do every night for my ankle/calf. I want to be stronger and healthier.

I also want to call and make an appointment with an endocrinologist to be tested for Cushing's. It may be a long shot that so many of my health issues are caused by one thing, but wouldn't that be fabulous to have an answer!

Symptoms/signs of Cushing's are:

  • Weak Muscles

  • Weight gain in face, waistline, and back of neck/upper back

  • Acne

  • Dark stretch marks on stomach

  • Anxiety/depression

  • Backaches

  • Loss of muscle tone

  • Irregular menstrual periods

  • Abnormal hair growth

  • Sleep issues

  • High blood pressure/blood sugar

The symptoms that are bold/italic are ones that I have. Now, obviously these could all be attributed to something else but what if there really is one answer? What if there is one thing that is making all of these worse for me? Part of me is scared to get tested because if it is Cushing's that means surgery, if it's not Cushing's then I don't have the possibility of a magic answer. But I guess no magic answer leaves me right where I am now so what am I waiting for?